And so there were issues

I laughed off an issue I thought would just pass itself off. It wasn't big. It wasn't that small to be ignored either. But now, it's just not right to let it go. It has gone deeper than I thought it would have. And now, I don't know why I get so affected with things like these.

I don't want to intrude relationships. There may be times I almost crossed the line, but mind you, I never did. Not once in my life do I remember I stepped out of my limits. I know my limits. I know myself.

Yes, and I know myself more than you do. I might act as if I am in the constant search for who I really am, but hello, I do know a great bulk of me. I know how to respect. I know when to react. I know which things matter and which don't.

Lets start off with the rumors.

Rumors are plain rumors. I don't want other people to go judging me. I never judged others. I may say things about them, but I do not judge them for who they are. The best thing for us to do is to understand and accept them. If we see that there's something wrong, help correct the mistake. Don't let these rumors fool you. You might be hurt, but did you ever try to see the other side?

I was part of this baseless nonsense that spread out as rumor. Did anyone ever ask me my side of the story? NO. No one did. They didn't have the guts to tell me. Or maybe, they believed what they heard. They judged me according to what they saw. No solid proof. Just that. And my reputation went from mediocre to negative infinity. And what's so weird about this? I never had an idea that it was there all along. I never thought. Who would have imagined such thing anyway.

Clarifications.

So this issue found it's way to me. At least I was able to face it decently. It was like an exam on a topic which I have never heard of, yet I was assured that I was going to pass. Thanks to friends who care. And thanks to friends who don't. And then I thought everything was alright because it seemed like it was. I talked to the person involved. Said I was sorry (even though now I think I shouldn't have said that since I did nothing wrong). Settled. Closed.

Wrong.

Last night, something weird happened. And I just can't take the alibi. I say ALIBI because I do not know the real truth. I do not talk to a lot of people because I don't know whom to trust. But I did talk to one. And I don't know. I felt like crying even though there was no point to it. I just simply hate the fact that somebody out there thinks that I have been doing something wrong when in fact I wasn't. I shouldn't be bothering myself with these stuff but I can't help it.

I have problems of my own. Matters of the heart of my own. Don't make your condition an excuse to brash. You are making it your shield. Your excuse. Because you couldn't have done it otherwise.

Be brave enough and tell me how you feel. Be brave enough to face the truth. I have done nothing wrong, and I will do nothing wrong. Forgive me for making an issue out of it. I snapped it off in the beginning but I am starting to hear things that concern me. It is just not right. It is just not good.

Tendency is, I will not try to prove you wrong, because I know the truth. He knows the thruth, my friends know the truth. I don't care about your friends or how they think of me.

I trusted your words but then they contradict your actions. I thought it was fine and that it was done, but then I think it has just begun.

So I will annoy you. Yes I will because you have annoyed me enough. I am not afraid.

But if you don't want me to, just say PLEASE. And oh, don't forget the SORRY.