Surprises

When I was in school today, I already had in mind what I wanted to write for tonight.

Sad, it's 2am and I still haven't done anything productive, let alone finish a blog entry. Something is not right tonight. Oh God, I just hope he wouldn't get to read this. Well, what's the purpose of a blog anyway?

I was answering stupid surveys earlier and I posted them online. Question was, did you ever miss a part of your past. Well, yes, I said. CDO life. Carefree. I could do anything I wanted to. Maybe because I was still younger with nothing much in mind. Or maybe because the people there are just fantastic compared to my relatives here. Or maybe it's just the Kagay-anon culture.

Then I started missing things. Lots of things. Made me feel sad. I wish I could just move on. Move on without ever asking what ifs. Move on without saying goodbye. Move on and be proud.

I was given the options, I was free to choose, and I made a decision. When I left, I left a part of me that I can never get back no matter how I try. It'll be forever gone, and I will be forever changed. For the better or for the worst, I do not know.

One thing is for sure. That I had a happy life. Given the chance to change any of that past, I'd say pass. That I had a happy childhood. That there, I learned to love and be loved.

I left a part of me. No, I'm not taking it back. Keep it with you. I want you to keep it.

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it should have been a 23 to make it even more appropriate. i loved that number ever since. found it as a random number with meaning. random.